In a blog post I wrote last September, I waxed (un)poetic about the difficulty of long distance relationships. This was shortly after J and I started dating--I explained the circumstances in which we met and how I was a bit apprehensive about starting something long distance. But, as I said in my earlier post, I knew there was something very special and different about J, and my gut told me to go with it. Best decision I ever made--I mean, the boy bought me a piano two months into our relationship. Kidding. He's hot too.
In all seriousness, things are great. Fantastic, actually. I've never been so happy, and J says the same thing with great frequency. It's uncanny how many interests we share--a love of history, books, running, politics/current events, bluegrass, indie music, travel, not to mention nerdy sci-fi/Lord of the Rings stuff--and how well our personalities mesh. Neither of us ever thought we'd find someone so emotionally, intellectually, and physically compatible. J told me yesterday that he sometimes still can't believe this is real, and I for one think I'm the luckiest girl in the world. It's for those reasons that our relationship has progressed so quickly and that each of us has taken risks for the other. But...
Yep, there's a but: But, all that being said, it's not been easy, despite all of the lovely things I just mentioned. I knew long distance would be difficult, but I'm not sure that I fully grasped just how stressful and emotionally draining it would be for us to live on opposite sides of an ocean...and we have many more months to go. There are few things worse than standing outside an airport security checkpoint, crying ugly tears, feeling like your other half is being torn from your arms, and not knowing when you'll see him next.
So, seven months after my original post, has the distance gotten easier? Yes and no.
Yes, because now that we know we share the same priorities and goals, and that the love and desire are extant and immutable, there is certainty, a sense of security that we both will wait for each other for as long as it takes. We've known from the beginning that we wanted a future together (okay, maybe J knew a little before I did), and that knowledge has reassured us both that we will make it through this period of separation.
No, because our feelings for each other have deepened to the point that that it's almost physically painful to be apart. We count down the days until we can see each other again and during that time, a sense of longing permeates our every thought (it's actually very distracting at work). The need to be with each other is so strong that it can't be satisfied by 5 hours on Skype or innumerable daily emails. Every so often, we're blessed with opportunities to travel together or visit each other, but they never seem to last long enough, and each time, we're forced to revisit the painful process of saying good bye.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel; we just have to be patient. Until then, we'll persevere, like we have been for the past 9 months, and we'll make the best of things because that's all we can do.
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