Older and Older

Happy Birthday to me! As my mother would say in her most ominous voice, I'm getting "older and older." Not older and wiser. Not older and more mature. Just older and older, that implication being that time is running out for me to get my life together and achieve certain milestones like finding the perfect husband, reaching the top of the corporate ladder, or buying a house. She hasn't said this much lately, mostly because I'm no longer single or running around and leading a questionable lifestyle (e.g., living in a rented house with roommates on the Hill and working for peanuts). I have a kid on the way, for crying out loud. Not that she trusts me to make life decisions, even at the ripe old age of thirty-four.

Thirty-four. It sounds old to me and yet I don't feel like an adult or even remotely ready for the responsibility of raising a child. Sure, I pay my bills on time and try my best to be an upstanding citizen, but somehow I think more than that will be needed to create a nurturing, stable, child-friendly environment. Like eating regular meals that don't consist solely of pita bread and hummus or a hunk of cheese. Creating grocery lists that support weekly meal plans. Sticking to a schedule. Not walking around the house in my underwear. I suppose that can come later though.

Some recent randomness:

Our babymoon to Greece and Turkey was fantastic (pictures to come), but I am so completely and utterly jetlagged. I literally fell asleep in the middle of eating dinner (J was working the 2pm to 11pm shift, so I was on my own). Twice.

So much kicking and rolling around in my stomach. It's the weirdest thing, yet strangely comforting.

Listening to the song "Somewhere Down in Texas" on repeat like a dork. Gotta love George Strait. Also on my playlist: Alan Jackson's The Bluegrass Album and First Aid Kit's The Lion's Roar (they're Swedish?).

1Q84. I love Murakami and I LOVED this book. I literally couldn't put it down and read obsessively like never before.

I also picked up Snow, written by Turkish Nobel Prize winner Orhan Pamuk, because I thought it apropos given our travels and it'd been sitting on the shelf for the past three years. But I really struggled to get through it, especially the last 50 pages, in part because I didn't much like the omniscient narration that jumped back and forth in time and frequently revealed the key plot points in advance.

Food obsessions: Egg drop soup. Frozen cherries. Organic Greek yogurt. Fresh blueberries and strawberries (it's currently peak season). Cinnamon on everything. I wouldn't call these pregnancy cravings, since I've been obsessed with all of these foods well before I got knocked up.

J is working a mid(night shift) tonight, so we'll celebrate my birthday tomorrow. I'm not sure that I'll ever get used to this crazy schedule. At least it's only until September.

Colorado nighttime downpours, the best way to end a birthday. I love this weather.