Where to Go From Here

I had an interview this morning with a financial services firm. It was an opportunity that arose out of the blue yesterday from a conversation I had with a former law school classmate.

Everything went well, relatively speaking. The managing director and I got along great, and he said quite matter-of-factly that I was the type of whip-smart and personable individual who would succeed at the company. But he did have doubts about me--not about whether I had enough experience or knew anything about mergers & acquisitions or was sufficiently smart. Instead, he peppered me with questions about what I wanted to do with my life. Did I still want to do public policy? Where did I see myself in five years? Would I bolt from the company if I became bored? What would be my ideal job? What was J's plan? Was he going to get out of the Air Force? Where would we live? Were we going to put down roots in Denver?

I don't know times eight.

Throughout the interview with the managing director, I almost felt like I was having a conversation with a friend and he was mentoring me, as if he not only were trying to ascertain whether I would stay at the company if he made me an offer, but also as if he were trying to help me determine where I wanted to go in life. I think my answers were adequate, sufficiently explanatory. Don't know if he bought them; not sure that I did.

It's a good great job that pays really well. There are some lawyerly aspects (all of the people working there are lawyers and most are former CLS grads), but the job focuses more on the business side of M&A closings. But do I actually like M&A? Should that matter? Would I be crazy to turn it down? And what reason would I give for doing so? That I'd rather accompany youth choirs on the piano and travel Europe with J?

I'm being overly facetious, obviously. But I continue to be torn between what I "should" do and what I "want" to do. We all have responsibilities in life and all jobs have their negative aspects. Who am I to think my life should be any different or special? Am I selfish for wanting to be fully engaged by my vocation? From what I can tell, this job would be much better than a regular attorney position, but do I want it regardless?

I have no answers for myself. Just looking for guidance and inspiration from the powers that be.