Life Changes

Hello, friends. Long time, no see. We've been busy settling into Denver, moving apartments (twice), traveling for weddings and graduations, doing drill weekends and crew shifts (J, obviously), adjusting to daily commutes and office life (me), and catching up with friends.

Also, this happened a few months ago:

The plus sign is faint, but it's there. Let's just say the news was slightly unexpected. When I emerged from the bathroom, stick in hand, J said, "You don't look horrified, so much as shocked and a little bit angry. Like I punched you in the face."

Don't get me wrong--this is a wonderful blessing; it's just that a few months later, we're still a bit overwhelmed. Slightly anxious. Not ready for the changes to come. Mostly though, I think my stress stems from the grandmothers to be.

We told Jason's parents the news a few weeks before the end of the first trimester, and I very specifically asked Jason's mom to not tell anyone because it was too early. She agreed and promptly told six people. Then drama erupted because she had told one of her sisters the news but not the other one, and she "needed" to tell the other one because the first one was was stressed about the second one finding out that she already knew. Seriously? I get that my MIL is over the moon excited (this is a woman who rescued a car seat from a neighbor on her way to the trash bin and has had it hanging in her garage for the past few years), but I'd like a little discretion.

Also, after hearing about the babysitting experiences of her sisters with their own granddaughters, Jason's mom blurted to me last month that she wanted to live next door. She said it so plaintively that I couldn't even laugh, let alone try to hide the look of horror on my face.

And of course, at the far other end of the spectrum, there's my mother. I'm 22 weeks along now, and she still hasn't told a soul. She's not excited so much as worrying herself sick about my health and bombarding me with advice that vacillates between the usual prenatal admonitions and traditional Chinese superstitions. Once, she sent me six emails within an hour.

Sylvia, I read that do not drink honey while being pregnant. Mom

Try to avoid computer at weekend. Mom

How's everything? Haven't heard from you. Make sure eat well. Eggs, milk, veg with folic acid etc. Spinach, cauliflower etc. Love, Mom

If you need help for the first month when the baby is born, i would love to help out to care for the baby. Do not think so far ahead.

I suggest you both rent two bedroom apt, so you have more space. For myself, I feel more comfortable and relaxed with more space. In the future, if you both want to go to somewhere or travel, I can babysit for you. Do not worry so much.  Otherwise sickness will come to you.

Make sure you eat well.  Besides taking the folic acid pills, also eat vegetable with folic acid like asparagus etc. Mom

When you pack, make sure lift very light things, leave heavy stuff for Jason.  Do not rush and be anxious. Otherwise miscarriage will happen easily. It is very important. Try to eat more and heavy. Love, Mom

You should walk two hrs with Jason around the neighbor after dinner.  It will do you good. The more walk the better you are. Drink lots lots of water. Drink  milk every day. Besides the pill you are taking,  make sure you eat veggie & fruit.

Look up the internet. "Nutrition for pregnancy" Mom

Do not eat noodles, white rice, white bread. Starch can elevate blood sugar. Whole wheat bread is good for you but you need to eat enough to maintain a healthy diet right now. Eat enough meat to maintain a good weight.  Eat more organic chicken. Love, Mom

More fibre food too. Love, Mom

I get that everyone is well-meaning, but I've always hated attention and now is no exception. I've also just never been very maternal or gooey about kids and baby stuff. I realize that the attention and (grand)parental obsession are only going to become exponentially worse and I'll need to start setting boundaries, but I suppose I shouldn't worry about that too much for now. Just trying to take life one day at a time. It's going to be an interesting ride.