Dearest

Dearest Blog,

I'm sorry I haven't written you in awhile. The good news is that I've been reading real books and writing elsewhere, and J and I've been traveling almost every weekend. Maybe that's not enough to assuage your feelings of neglect, but I'll return to you soon, promise.

The main excuse for my prolonged absence is that chronic back pain and fatigue make me not want to stare at my laptop any more than I already do for work. It's been over two months since the accident and my back is still killing me, so I went to my sports doctor a few weeks ago. Turns out, I have compression fractures in two of my vertebrae (T7 and T8) that the ER doctors didn't catch because they didn't x-ray my back. Come on, guys. Really? You didn't think to x-ray my back even though I complained non-stop about back pain? Sigh. Anyway, yours truly was measured for a back brace and will be living in a plastic shell 23/7 for the next four weeks. Awesome-sauce.

But this is all trivial in relation to the news that JM, my beloved choir director at Trinity UMC and who's also been a spiritual mentor and second mother to me, and her husband BM were in a serious car accident two days ago. BM sustained internal bleeding and a torn aorta and has been in and out of surgery three times, while JM suffered eight broken ribs and a punctured lung.

I burst into tears when I heard the news and just cried for awhile. I don't know if I turned into an emotional mess because I love JM so dearly or because the news reawakened memories of my own accident trauma, or both. Car accidents have figured in my life a lot lately, as have thoughts of mortality and loss. Maybe I take life too seriously and personally these days, I don't know. Thankfully, JM and BM seem to be recovering, slowly, though they're both staying in the ICU for awhile.

Anyway, dear blog, I hope you understand why I've been away. Life is distracting, to say the least. I'm torn between living life and documenting its details. The two aren't exclusive, clearly, but it's easy to get caught up in the latter. Maybe I'll attain my goal of becoming a total Luddite one day; for now, I'm cutting back on social media and just trying to stay in the moment. I'll figure out a balance at some point.

xxx