The Bright Side

We've passed the four month mark of J's deployment! Just two more months to go. Believe it or not, there *is* a silver lining to long distance and separation: J and I have amassed a serious cache of emails, cards, letters, and postcards during the past year and a half. Since that first day we met, I've received 4583 emails from J and I'm sure I've sent him just as many, if not more. That's kind of insane if you think about it. But it's not about the numbers--it's about sharing everything that's happening in our lives as best we can...which has resulted in an amazing and tangible reminder of how far we've come.

If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm a giant history nerd. One of the reasons I entered the history PhD program was to satiate my love for sitting in dusty, windowless archives and poring over old manuscripts and documents. And there's something about being able to delve into one's own history and discern behavioral patterns that thrills me even more, which is why I treasure so greatly those very first emails I received from J. They were his attempt to remain casual and collected and to suppress his excitement at finding the girl he thought was The One. Too cute.

As the summer progressed, our emails grew longer and more detailed and intimate. We talked about our long-term plans and discovered our mutual love of bluegrass, history, and nerdy things like Star Trek and the Lord of the Rings books. When I re-read our correspondence, I can sense J's astonishment (and skepticism) when I told him I'd always wanted to live on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. I can see that I trusted J from the beginning, despite barely knowing him, because he radiated such sincerity. It makes me smile when I think of what was running through his head and mine at the time--the anticipation, the butterflies, the wariness that it was all too good to be true.

There's something beautiful and nostalgic about our extensive written history. It's not something a lot of couples have, I think, and while the separation has been difficult, it's forced us to make communication our top priority. We've learned so much about each other, we've traveled the world together, and we'll always be able to look back at the conversations that have meant so much to us. And for that reason, if we had to do things all over again, I don't think that I'd do them any differently.